Saturday, November 18, 2006

Misery Is Sometimes A Good Thing




Don’t cry, friends. It probably sounds stupid if I tell you not to cry now. It’s truly hard to fight the feelings that press upon your heart at the moment. But I have to say this so as to ease, though a little, your pain.


Will you believe me, dears, that misery is sometimes a good thing in life? It may not be true to you, but it is totally true in my case. Unlike you, I did not fall into a shocking crisis on hearing the bad news of the close-down. It is because I am immune from this type of crisis; I have undergone enough of it. The first thought that came into my mind then was “I am a loser.” Once again, I lost to destiny. I lost in my life-time battle against fate as I always did. Can it be the more you devote yourselves, the more you’ll lose?


One more time I witnessed tears and tragedies. One more time I see how mistakes and faults, as well as corruption, may cause pains to dozens of lives. One more time I remembered all the bad things I had gone through, though I tried not to recall what happened. I remembered how I told myself, “I cannot keep thinking of it. It’s so painful.”


We are all different, but there is one thing in common among us: bad luck. We’ve lost too much.  All of those who loved now lost. However, I know I can recover soon while it will take a time, though not so long, before you can remove every bad thing from your mind. Most of you are too white, too sentimental, and not prepared for any kind of break-down. You are not worthy of being cheated.


I believe that you will at last get back to the state of happiness you once had. I have a suspicion, though, that there will never be another time when you are that dedicated. “The innocence can never last”, you know. Just see how one becomes a cynic when their dream is dead. Happiness may return to you someday, but it is back in a new form, so different from the way it was. You can never claim back what you have lost. Love and faith cannot stay intact after ups-and-downs of life.


Memories will be all the more painful because they are too beautiful and “longer than the road that stretches out ahead”. They will surely hurt you much.


"Memories

are so beautiful and yet

what's too painful to remember

We simply choose to forget..."


And you will see that to live means to take board. Remember that old song by Trinh Cong Son? It's "Lodging" (Ở trọ). Is it that we have together taken board with VNN TV, after all?


But there is one thing I’d like to tell you despite the above-mentioned. Misery is sometimes a good thing for some people. After all the rises and falls, all that remain is life experience. Life goes on, and so does our battle against our invisible, eternal enemy. Although we may always lose in the end, but the most important thing is that we have fought it back.